John Wick: Chapter 4 The fourth John Wick movie, which is indistinguishable from the other three John Wick movies.   Glass Onion Rich people are kinda dumb; someone sets the Mona Lisa on fire.   Everything...

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Madison Metropolitan School District plans to abandon metro buses in favor of a network of tunnels beneath Madison, allowing...

Watching the Superbowl a couple weeks ago, I realized something: the commercials weren't as much fun as I remembered. I think the moment that did it for me was a ham-fisted commercial about NFTs demanding...

I'll preface this by saying I don't like AI tools all that much. But after looking at OpenAI's GPT-3 language model, I can certainly say I'm interested in AI tools. Most of my problems with them come from...

I didn't write any resolutions for this year. I used to try to come up with goals for the year or things to check off of my bucket list, but in the past few years I've stopped. Whatever their reasons,...

It's that time of year again, which means I'm digging up the oldest debate in film: Is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas movie? First, let's define what a Christmas movie is: a movie that takes...

Alrighty, it's that time of year—I get to rate my classes, and you all have to listen to me! I'm giving everything a totally arbitrary rating on a scale that I decide ad-hoc. AP Chemistry is like...

Jargon is Exclusive By Jonas Sime So, I live near a park, it’s probably like 30 seconds away from walking distance, and I spend a good chunk of my free time there. Most of the time, I’m with my...

Hello everyone! We're Elliott and Mihika, your Opinions Editors for the Sword & Shield! It's pretty safe to say that we've all settled in now to the rhythm of the school year—or at least, we hope...

Deadlines and due dates have disappeared over the past few years, especially with the challenge the COVID-19 brought to schools. However, it is time to start bringing back deadlines, at least in part,...

There's an old adage you might be familiar with: "knowledge is power." These words ring as true today as they did in 1597, when Francis Bacon is credited with writing them. We face a sea of misinformation—and...

According to a Gallup poll from June 2022, Americans’ confidence in the Supreme Court of the United States has reached a record low (25%), spurred in part by recent controversial rulings, including Dobbs...