The Student News Site of Vel Phillips Memorial

Sword & Shield

Sword & Shield

Sword & Shield

The Student News Site of Vel Phillips Memorial

France Bans All Soup to Prevent Mona Lisa Damage

France Bans All Soup to Prevent Mona Lisa Damage

Monika Jeraj April 1, 2024

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.   On March 30, 2024, a shocking announcement reached the citizens of France. At the exact moment the clock struck...

COP28: Moving Towards Renewable Energy

COP28: Moving Towards Renewable Energy

Ava Kahn January 1, 2024

In the first two weeks of December, 2023, 200 parties from around the world came together in Dubai for the United Nations Climate Change Conference. The conference had a clear conclusion known as the Global...

Israel-Hamas War Continues

Israel-Hamas War Continues

Ava Kahn January 1, 2024

UN Approves Aid Resolution in Gaza The United Nations has passed a resolution which calls for safe humanitarian access throughout Gaza. The resolution will allow expanded aid to enter the territory,...

War Between Russia and Ukraine Continues

War Between Russia and Ukraine Continues

Jonathan Buscher December 1, 2023

Already in its second year, the war between Ukraine and Russia continues to govern the lives of many in the region, with the EU and United States watching the continued unfolding carefully. Yet, there...

Conflict Erupts In Israel and Gaza

Conflict Erupts In Israel and Gaza

Ava Kahn November 1, 2023

On October 7, 2023, Hamas launched an attack by air, land, and sea against Israel killing over 1400 people and kidnapping over 200 hostages. Hamas is an Islamic political and military organization governing...

Earthquake Wreaks Havoc in Morocco

Earthquake Wreaks Havoc in Morocco

Ava Kahn October 1, 2023

On September 8th, a 6.8 magnitude earthquake struck many remote villages in Morocco. The earthquake was the strongest one to hit Morocco in sixty years, killing 2,900 people, and injuring more than 5,000...

Crisis in Sudan

Crisis in Sudan

Ava Kahn May 7, 2023

After months of tension, fighting erupted in Sudan’s capital, Khartoum on April 8, 2023. The conflict was caused by two military groups fighting for control over the country. The groups, the Sudanese...

In Response to a Recent Study, Scientists Announce That Everything You Love Is Bad for You (ChatGPT)

In Response to a Recent Study, Scientists Announce That Everything You Love Is Bad for You (ChatGPT)

Jonathan Buscher and ChatGPT April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Another Note: This article was written by ChatGPT prompted to “Write a Satire Article” A recent study published...

ChatGPT: The Language Model Thats Taking Over the World, One Conversation at a Time

ChatGPT: The Language Model That’s Taking Over the World, One Conversation at a Time

Jonathan Buscher and ChatGPT April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Another Note: This article was created using ChatGPT prompted to “Write a Satire Article About ChatGPT” In a world...

War in Ukraine Suddenly Stops

War in Ukraine Suddenly Stops

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Slightly past the two-year point in the war between Russia and Ukraine, which began on February 24, 2022, the war aggressively...

The Russia-Ukraine War: Year Two Begins

The Russia-Ukraine War: Year Two Begins

Ava Kahn March 12, 2023

Year two of the war between Russia and Ukraine has begun. Many predict that the war will continue to progress and intensify due to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s persistence. Currently, Russia has...

Monkeys Accidentially Make Stone Tools Resembling Artifacts

Monkeys Accidentially Make Stone Tools Resembling Artifacts

Jonathan Buscher March 12, 2023

In Southern Thailand, long-tailed macaques (Macaca fascicularis) monkeys use stones to mimic an anvil and hammer, breaking open hard nuts and shellfish for food. However, this process can inadvertently...

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