DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
Over the course of his second term, Donald Trump’s physical deterioration has been a hot topic amongst news outlets and internet users alike. While many have pointed out the worsening condition of his skin, discourse regarding his facial features is few and far between. In contrast with the man’s smooth, almost unnaturally thin hair, Trump’s facial symmetry seems to have “taken a drastic hit in the attractiveness department.” According to many online sources. Let’s face the truth. Old men are incredibly attractive. Whether it be their consistently thick lineaments or their fabulous sense of style, there’s a reason men over 60 are well-known in online looksmaxxing circles.
However, given Trump’s current circumstances, it’s become increasingly clear that the President has zero interest in redeeming his sense of style. It’s common knowledge that Trump’s neutral canthal tilt is an aspect of the man’s physiognomy that’s always appeared prominent, yet it’s an aspect of his appearance that’s only served to worsen his outer perception. Older appearing, wrinkled faces are often judged as less attractive than the features of youth. Strong lineaments evoke untrustworthiness, perceived as conveying more negative emotions such as frustration and anger.
Hence, many throughout both the democratic and republican parties believe Trump’s appearance to be “ugly” or “disgustingly unappealing”. Though I suggest the opposite of said viewpoint.
Having found beauty in Trump’s physiognomy leaves a man like me in a very awkward position. “But you’re a democrat, why praise the physical appearance of the republican party’s mascot?” “I don’t understand. You find him attractive? What are you, gay?” And to that I propose my reasoning. In Ancient Greece, uniqueness was seen as a desirable trait amongst noblewomen and individuals of high prominence (be it politicians or philosophers), and was seen as a way to catch eyes amongst hordes of customers and/or voters. Said features are rather prevalent in the disgruntled appearance of our president. Despite his neutral canthal tilt, his lineaments fold in ways never before seen amongst those in his generation.
In an era in which many claim that individualism is a dying practice, Donald Trump reigns as a prominent example of individualistic beauty. The orange-ish vermillion hue of his skin is unrivaled by that of other prominent figures deemed handsome by the general public. If you are to draw a comparison, the guise of his past countenance was rather basic in contrast to the way in which he’s presenting himself today.
Whilst his hair remained just as thin, there was no way in which a blonde, pale billionaire could stick out amongst those he associated himself with. By building a recognizable silhouette, (IE: a personal brand), our 47th president has maintained a recognizable and awe-inspiring appearance that has done nothing other than capture my heart. Whether it be the tone of his skin or his sloppily slumped build, I’ve found beauty and inspiration in a man whose appearance many disregard.
Despite my political stance, the uniqueness of Donald Trump’s contours brings me a deep sense of personal comfort. I wish that one day, fellow democratic Donald Trump stans such as myself will find a safe space to properly discuss our adoration. An individual’s rarity is what makes each one of us as pretty as we are. Whilst continuing to criticize his actions, I pray that we can all agree that Donald Trump is attractive (in more ways than one) at some point before his eventual death.