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Sword & Shield

The Student News Site of Vel Phillips Memorial

Ed Sheerans Leprechaun Status

Ed Sheeran’s Leprechaun Status

Monika Jeraj April 29, 2023

Ed Sheeran thinks that the club isn’t the best place to find a lover, so it seems fitting that the bar is where he went this past Friday. Now, Ed being spotted at a bar may not seem like a big deal but...

Tips On How To Pay Attention In Class

Tips On How To Pay Attention In Class

Hayat Brahmer, Student Life Editor April 7, 2023

We all know how hard it can be to pay attention in class, especially by the end of the year. We’re all tired and these long weeks are adding up. However, this is the most important time of year with...

How To Get Your Parent/Guardian To Like You

How To Get Your Parent/Guardian To Like You

Hayat Brahmer, Student Life Editor April 7, 2023

Conferences were a couple of weeks ago and some of us faced the consequences. It's the dreaded time of year when your teachers let your parents know how good or bad you are really doing, how much you’re...

Top 5 Best School Lunches Offered At Memorial HS

Top 5 Best School Lunches Offered At Memorial HS

Hayat Brahmer, Student Life Editor April 7, 2023

Even though many people and movies depict school lunches as being gross or unhealthy, Memorial offers a versatile and delicious lunch menu. They include healthy and colorful options. Listed below are some...

Ultimate Frisbee Announced as Olympic Sport

Aatman Parikh April 5, 2023

(this is SATIRE! For non-satire articles, please look through our archives) In a shocking turn of events, Ultimate Frisbee has been announced as an Olympic sport for the upcoming 2028 Summer Olympics....

April Editors Note: Final Quarter!

April Editor’s Note: Final Quarter!

Vince Kim and Sanjay Palta-Hill April 4, 2023

Hello everyone!    We’re Sanjay and Vince, your Sword & Shield Sports Editors for the 2022-23 school year. We hope you had an awesome spring break to get ready for the final quarter of...

TAMPA, FL - JANUARY 16: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers walks through the tunnel prior to an NFL wild card playoff football game against the Dallas Cowboys at Raymond James Stadium on January 16, 2023 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Kevin Sabitus/Getty Images)

Tom Brady Returns as Curling Professional

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. On February 1, 2023, legendary quarterback and future Hall of Famer Tom Brady announced his retirement from professional...

Qatar Won The World Cup In Emir of Qatars Backyard

Qatar Won The World Cup In Emir of Qatar’s Backyard

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. “Gonzalo Montiel won everything for Argentina, the first time in 36 years… HE DOES IT! ARGENTINA REACH THE MOUNTAINTOP!”  While...

I Am Better Than Magnus Carlsen

I Am Better Than Magnus Carlsen

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Chess is difficult. We all have played it once and realized this game is just not for us — a blunder of the queen or...

US actor Will Smith accepts the award for Best Actor in a Leading Role for King Richard onstage during the 94th Oscars at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California on March 27, 2022. (Photo by Robyn Beck / AFP) (Photo by ROBYN BECK/AFP via Getty Images)

Will Smith Wins Second Best Actor, Set to Host 96th Academy Awards

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. In response to the relatively quiet Academy Awards in recent years, groundbreaking moments unfolded at this year’s...

Mysterious Balloons Interrupt March Madness Final

Mysterious Balloons Interrupt March Madness Final

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. “Mommy, a balloon!” shouted someone’s child in the crowd. Yes, it was a balloon, but the game hadn’t ended. And...

Elon Musk Exposed for Using Space Aliens in Factory

Elon Musk Exposed for Using Space Aliens in Factory

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Elon Musk, the infamous entrepreneur has recently had legal troubles, from his deal with Twitter near the end of 2022...

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