DISCLAIMER: THE POSTSCRIPT IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

Hello everyone! It’s Vince Kim, your Sports Editor back with the April Editor’s Note. I hope you guys had a wonderful spring break and recharged your batteries to finish the school year off strong. In a month, some of y’all will have AP exams to worry about, but just make sure to get a few hours of practice in and you should be fine. Don’t worry, no test will make or break this year!

Like any other month, Sword and Shield is excited to bring some flavor into our stories, especially with our April tradition of writing satire articles! Check out how Biden legally changed his name to Taylor Swift, a predicted 0% acceptance rate for the UW-Madison Class of 2029, and news reasons on why the Spartan News officers should receive pay.

If you’re at all interested in writing articles for Sword and Shield, join our Google Classroom (code: awjii5f) to get meeting announcements and instructions. We meet every Monday at lunch and flex (and we get occasional treats!!). Hope to see you there!

P.S. This message was actually created from Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, using ChatGPT to generate the message.