Hey-o Spartans! It’s Ben, your Arts and Entertainment editor, and we’re back at it for the anti-penultimate (3rd to last) Sword and Shield for the 24-25 school year! 3rd Quarter is almost wrapped up, so let’s make it count to make 4th quarter our best yet! 

April, as some of you may know, is our April Fools issue, so most of our articles are satire and meant for a good chuckle. In Sports, we have stellar advice on how to make the perfect March Madness bracket and very real information and updates on F1 racing. Over in Student Life, we have the breaking news of the school parking lot becoming valet-operated, spring break being extended, and the nationwide shaking news of AP tests becoming open note (we need to look into that one). Moving onto the News, we have information on Ron Johnson’s brain finally hitting the corner, Democrats introducing the groundbreaking H.E.L.P. bill, the closing of Joans, grandmother outrage everywhere, and the black hole that ravaged the Earth and the controversy it has caused MMSD. In Opinions, we have the Top Ten “Worst Things” of All Time, and many very medically based articles, such as the benefits of brainworms, Measles, and the cowardice of normies, and why children should be kept in pods by beige mothers. To close us off, we have the Arts and Entertainment section with the announcement of ninety Fast and Furious movies and a (not satirical?) review of Daredevil: Born Again.

If you’re reading this, that means you care! Come join us at our next meeting in Mr. Frontiers’ room (the video room) on Monday the 7th at lunch! We may even have food!