In October 2022, billionaire Elon Musk acquired Twitter, setting up the battlefield for a fight with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Following the conglomeration, “Zuck” began building his own Twitter counterpart: ‘Threads’. The app was made to function in a similar manner, allowing users to share thoughts in short “tweets”. However, the competition did not end in the metaphysical world of the Internet and business ventures. Upon discovering that Zuck had been practicing the martial art of jiu-jitsu for the past several months, Musk challenged him to a full-blown cage match. It appears that Musk then began practicing martial arts as well. The two fighters commenced a lengthy internet and internal brawl, debating the location and time of the match. The Colosseum itself was suggested, much to Italy’s disapproval. While the match has yet to happen, it might seriously be in the works. 

The reality that two of the most powerful figures in the world have agreed to fight like prehistoric Vikings (to the death? to the first muscle cramp?) is at best absolutely ridiculous. At worst, it is a scary metaphor for the state of the world. Regardless, the logistics somehow seem equally important. Musk weighs significantly more than Zuck—he could probably flatten him—while Zuck seems to have more experience in the ring. It is unclear who would win, and how the world would change if that were to happen.