Every month has its fair share of weird holidays, and according to The Spruce, a site that offers “practical, real-life tips and inspiration to help you make your best home” March is no exception. Believe it or not, holidays can be created by anyone! And while you think of the perfect holiday to add to March’s busy event calendar, I’m going to rank its current Top 20:

20. National Grammar Day – March 4

I’m sorry, but who likes grammar? Who wants to celebrate it? English teachers? Honestly, this shouldn’t even be on the list – but it is, so it’s going straight to the bottom (or, technically, the top).

19. Respect Your Cat Day – March 28

I don’t have a cat but if I did, I’d only respect it if it respected me. It goes both ways!

18. National Poultry Day – March 19

While I think poultry is a wonderful addition to our kitchens, I believe that there are other culinary delights that carry a greater degree of excellence.

17. National Meatball Day – March 9

I love meatballs!! However, I can also conjure up a mental image of a really dry, rubbery meatball that is probably best suited for the school lunch. Not a good association.

16. National Dentist’s Day – March 6

Dentists should be appreciated more than they are. Their job is to dig around your mouth. Better start flossing!

15. National Spinach Day – March 26

Spinach makes you strong – Popeye is living proof. So, let’s make sure everyone eats spinach by celebrating it!

14. National Artichoke Day – March 16

Artichoke is better than spinach. Therefore, it deserves to be celebrated more than spinach does.

13. National Biodiesel Day – March 18

Saving the planet, one biodiesel holiday at a time.

12. National Potato Chip Day – March 14

Potato chips are overrated, but they are better than spinach and artichoke. Facts are facts.

11. National Cereal Day – March 7

Honestly, this really depends on the type of cereal and when you’re eating it. Cap’n Crunch? Plain old cheerios? Breakfast? Dinner?

10. St. Patrick’s Day – March 17

I feel like a lot of people just forget about St. Patrick’s Day. Or worse, they choose to ignore it. Be warned – a leprechaun version of Ed Sheeran may come after you!

9. Johnny Appleseed Day – March 11

Johnny Appleseed brought us apples. That has to be celebrated.

8. International Day of Happiness – March 20

This holiday gets extra points because it’s international. Even if Dixie D’amelio tells us, “Sometimes I don’t wanna be happy,” we have to keep ourselves from getting too down in the dumps.

7. National Panda Day – March 16

Pandas are big, soft, fluffy, real-life stuffed animals. Or at least that’s what they look like. Apparently, they have a dangerous side too – but there have been no recorded instances of a giant panda killing a human.

6. National Oreo Cookie Day – March 6

This holiday actually falls on the same day as National Dentist’s Day. Coincidence? I think not.

5. Dr. Seuss’s Birthday – March 2

If you’re like me, Dr. Seuss is a big part of your childhood – and our childhoods deserve to be celebrated, as does Cat in the Hat.

4. National Puppy Day – March 23

This needs no explanation.

      3. (1415926535897932384626433) Pi Day – March 14

This holiday is surprisingly well-known, spread by the cunning wit of math teachers across the nation. It should be celebrated with lots and lots and lots of pie.

2. International Waffle Day – March 25

Again, this one is international. And it celebrates waffles. Waffles. As the definition of a perfect breakfast, they deserve second place.

1. National Mom and Pop Business Owner’s Day – March 29

Keep small businesses open! Support Mom and Pop business owners!