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Breaking news—late last night, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson’s brain was seen perfectly striking the corner of his skull after bouncing around for what one anonymous aide said felt like his entire political career.

“We were ecstatic,” the aide added, when asked about the general reaction to the event. “I honestly never thought I’d see the day—I’ve been watching this thing bounce around for as long as I’ve worked here, and some staff have been here even longer and never seen it happen. We weren’t sure it was possible.”

His fellow Wisconsin Senator, Tammy Baldwin, has expressed similar sentiments. “I used to keep an eye on it, but at some point I had to stop,” she confessed. “It just made me too angry to watch him constantly get so close, yet remain so far from actually doing something interesting.”

It is currently unknown what the effects of this event will be on the senator, but some constituents have offered the tentative hope that it might trigger some sort of immune response that will, to quote one Wisconsin resident, “make him grow a spine.” Neither Johnson nor his doctor have responded to requests for clarification on whether or not he has vertebrae.