Spoilers for The Conjuring: Last Rites ahead.
Horror buffs everywhere were shocked and dismayed to learn of the release of yet another Conjuring movie on September 5th. After three movies, two spin-offs, and 3 sequels to those spin-offs, it became clear that whoever runs the horror movie department at Warner Bros. was more than willing to beat a dead horse. Then again, when that dead horse spits out one billion dollars every time you beat it, it’s no wonder they’ve continued.
The Conjuring movies are a franchise that began in 2013, based on real cases that paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren took on from around 1960 to 1980. The movies focus mainly on the idea of demonic possession, though they usually find a way to loop ghosts in to not scare away certain religious people. The original Conjuring film was extremely well-received, due in no small part to the well-thought-out atmosphere and special effects. It also advertised itself as a true story, and has stayed consistent with that claim for all of its eight movies.
Considering it’s got such a strong legacy to uphold, it’s no wonder that Last Rites struggled so much in comparison.
Last Rites gets exactly two things right: atmosphere and jumpscares.
The atmosphere in Conjuring movies is pretty consistently good. In every movie in the franchise, there is a clear emotion that they want you to feel. Last Rites does this in a way that’s unlike any other movie in the franchise; scaring you out of your pants at every possible opportunity. In some older horror movies, they give you a brief feeling of security to amplify how scared you are. This has been the case in many of the past Conjuring films! Once they get past the exposition in Last Rites, there’s a jumpscare of some kind almost every five minutes. For a movie with an impressive 135-minute runtime, this was absolutely unbelievable.
In recent times, more movies are being made that focus on jump scares as opposed to actually scary concepts. These movies, while often scary, focus more on visual and audio cues to scare the audience rather than psychological horror. I, personally, call these “screamo” movies because they’re more focused on making you scream than making an actual cultural statement. For example, think of movies like Smile (2022) or It (2016). If you’re a fan of those kinds of movies, Last Rites will be your cup of tea. Every jumpscare is unique. You’re able to see them coming in a way that leaves you in anticipation, making it even scarier when they do come. In a world where movie studios focus more than ever on having the biggest possible audience, Last Rites knows exactly what it’s trying to do and pulls no punches in its execution of that.
Unfortunately for the viewers, Last Rites gets many more than two things wrong.
The most glaring issue of this movie is how absolutely boring it is outside of the jumpscares. While watching it for the first time in the movie theater, peeking through my fingers at some decently terrifying demons, I only had one thought: “Man, this movie blows.” Nothing in this movie matters at all. No joke, the biggest conflict of this movie that’s not the demons is that the main character has developed a heart condition. When he inevitably has a heart attack because he gets startled, he takes one pill and is fine. He’s so fine, in fact, that he’s able to do CPR and fight the demons. The heart condition is never brought up again! It’s impossible to care about any of the other conflicts, because they don’t matter either. If you want to know what happens in the next Conjuring movie, just go to the Warrens’ Wikipedia page, because it’s all based on a true story. Right?
This is the second issue. The Conjuring franchise as a whole is based on two real-life paranormal investigators. The movies love reminding you of this. Before and after every single movie, a message plays about how “this is a true story.” The issue is that none of them are ever true stories. At least, not in the way Ed and Lorraine Warren experienced them. The couple themselves did not believe in ghosts. Often, they’d call the people they worked with “crazy.” While the movies stay accurate to some real-life plot points, pretty much none of them are actually very true. There are so many changes made to the stories to make them more scary, it leads you to wonder what is actually real.
Another thing Last Rites struggled with was the special effects. In all of the rest of the franchise, the special effects, regardless of whether they were practical or digital, were pretty solid. The first movie knew this. One of my favorite shots in that movie is because of the special effects. Last Rites seems to have gotten a little too cocky and has made a movie with some of the most boring, run-of-the-mill special effects I’ve ever seen. The main villain was a mirror, which can be done well! Still, if your best special effects are someone’s reflection slowly starting to smile at them, then you’ve definitely got an issue.
The last and most major issue of this movie was that it set the stage for yet another sequel after it. The title, mercifully, implied that this was the last Conjuring movie. Apparently, you can’t always get what you want in life. With every new movie, it becomes harder and harder to actually enjoy the first few movies, because you know what they did with the franchise afterwards. Watching the new movies feels like seeing a close friend get possessed by a demon. Sure, he looks the same, but what on earth is he even saying? The fact that they’re making more films, long after every good piece of art has completely left the building, is absolutely mind-boggling to me.
In the end, if you love to be scared, Last Rites is absolutely your movie. If you aren’t all that into horror movies as an artistic medium, Last Rites is your movie. However, if you have watched the Conjuring franchise turn into a ghost of itself over time, with actors and directors who refuse to euthanize it, you absolutely should not see it. After all, there’ll be about two billion more chances to see a Conjuring movie in theaters.
