DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.<\/b><\/p>\n
We humans often think of ourselves as the most superior creatures on the planet. In some ways, this might be true. We have advanced technology, elite transportation, and high functioning societies. What we lack in bodily strength we make up for in weaponry. But our world has grown predictable and boring. Every industry is deeply competitive. Wars rage on endlessly. Climate change is shortening our time each and every day. I propose an unorthodox solution. A method that lies not in running towards the future, but in drawing from the past. It is time, I believe, for the dinosaurs to return.<\/span><\/p>\n Dinosaurs are the most magnificent creatures to have ever walked this Earth. They existed for millions of years whereas humans have been on this planet for a mere handful of thousands. They each have individual strengths that could greatly assist us, but let\u2019s first discuss their merits as a whole. To begin, the dinosaurs are powerful. They are large animals that could be unleashed upon any menacing figures who threaten our society. They are also experienced in crisis management. 66 million years ago, they were wiped out after an asteroid shattered the land and sent up so much debris and gas that the world became uninhabitable. As devastating as this was, it means that dinosaurs are now knowledgeable in this area. Their insight is crucial, and they may know exactly how to solve our current climate crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n Beyond this, dinosaurs are simply better than any other animal on our planet. There\u2019s so much diversity and beauty in each species. Their traits could teach us new ways to adapt to our own problems. Let\u2019s look at some desirable options. First, the ankylosaurus. Not only is it my personal favorite dinosaur, but it\u2019s a fearsome spike-studded figure. They are plant eaters, but they know how to protect themselves from carnivores. This kind of hardiness is a talent that humans would do well to incorporate into their own lives. The velociraptor is another example of a creature that we need to model ourselves after. Velociraptors can run at a pace of 25 miles per hour, which is the speed of top professional cyclists. This is an incredible skill that could lead to heightened productivity and a thriving economy. Finally, we must draw inspiration from the sauropods. They are essentially giraffes, but much cooler. If our necks were as long as the mighty Vulcanodon or Argentinosaurus, we would never have to struggle with reaching things again! Forget the top shelf – we could even replace cranes.<\/span><\/p>\n Despite these endless suggestions, you may be wondering how any of this could ever come to fruition. It\u2019s quite simple. We have so many science fiction movies to model our procedures off of! One conversation with the creators of Jurassic World and we\u2019re all set. Now, the oldest standing strand of DNA is 1.2 million years old, which is just shy of hte 66 million we\u2019re looking for. But nothing is impossible. Since those movies came out, genetic editing has come even further. Our drilling and digging technology has also advanced. I have full confidence that someone with enough motivation to win the Nobel Science Prize and a high tech drilling company would be up to the task.<\/span><\/p>\n We know that our current systems aren\u2019t working, and it\u2019s time for a change. We can no longer sit still and look to the automated, AI infested future. The past is our key. Dinosaurs are the key. They were intelligent. Powerful. Dominant. With their scientific genius, we can save our world and reconnect with the giants who lived before us.<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. We humans often think of ourselves as the most superior creatures on the planet. In some ways, this might be true. We have advanced technology, elite transportation, and high functioning societies. What we lack in bodily strength we make up for in weaponry. But…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":4940,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[347,181],"staff_name":[280],"class_list":["post-4939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions","tag-april-26","tag-satire","staff_name-varnika-arianathan"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4939"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4939\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4946,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4939\/revisions\/4946"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4939"},{"taxonomy":"staff_name","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/memorialswordandshield.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/staff_name?post=4939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}