DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.<\/b><\/p>\n
Green Eggs and Ham<\/span><\/i> by Dr. Seuss holds a special place in my heart as the first book I ever read on my own. And yet, looking back on it years later, I find it rather disquieting. Despite being a simple, intentionally repetitive tale, I find it holds a deeper meaning. An ominous meaning. For at its core, <\/span>Green Eggs and Ham<\/span><\/i> is a story meant to teach children to engage in thoughtless consumerism.<\/span><\/p>\n The story opens with Sam-I-Am, a character unknown to us but presumably known far and wide through the world of <\/span>Green Eggs and Ham<\/span><\/i>, judging from how easily he secures aid from other creatures. The protagonist of <\/span>Green Eggs and Ham<\/span><\/i>, who goes unnamed within the story and will be henceforth referred to as Sam-I-Aren\u2019t for ease of writing, is shortly thereafter introduced as he proclaims his hatred of Sam-I-Am and refuses the offering of the titular dish. Sam-I-Am then cycles through several scenarios, asking if Sam-I-Aren\u2019t would be willing to eat green eggs and ham under those conditions. This continues until Sam-I-Aren\u2019t eventually gives in and agrees to try the dish as long as Sam-I-Am promises to leave him alone afterward. The story ends with the revelation that Sam-I-Aren\u2019t loves green eggs and ham. He thanks Sam-I-Am for introducing him to it.<\/span><\/p>\n One could interpret the moral of this tale as simply encouraging children to be open to new experiences, and I would agree with this if not for one key detail: it\u2019s <\/span>green<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n The eggs, the ham\u2014they\u2019re green. You know this. I know this. But have you ever really thought about what it means?<\/span><\/p>\n Eggs and ham are products that we know can spoil, and the consumption of these spoiled goods can lead to sickness or even death. Our bodies are so specially evolved to recognize the signs of spoilage in such goods that we recognize their very scent as dangerous\u2014we know, viscerally, that we are meant to avoid these things.<\/span><\/p>\n And another key sign of spoilage is a change in color. Oftentimes, spoiled meat is represented as being\u2026<\/span>green<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n Green Eggs and Ham <\/span><\/i>is not encouraging children to broaden their horizons\u2014rather, it is encouraging them to abandon their instincts of what is safe and unsafe in the face of persistent argument. It is teaching them to adhere to the bandwagon fallacy\u2014if someone insists it\u2019s safe, even if you know in your gut it is not, then you might as well listen to them. What\u2019s the worst that could happen?<\/span><\/p>\n This kind of reasoning is dangerous for obvious reasons (giving in to peer pressure, bandwagon fallacy allows democracy to deteriorate, etc.) but is truly haunting when you consider the greater implications within American history and consumerism.<\/span><\/p>\n