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The Student News Site of Vel Phillips Memorial

Ron DeSantis Investigation of Florida Drag Shows

Ron DeSantis’ Investigation of Florida Drag Shows

Ben Arnoldussen April 18, 2023

In his latest round of threatening drag shows, Ron DeSantis and his administration announced an investigation into Christmas drag shows in Florida Wednesday, after reports accusing the show of exposing...

Mysterious Balloons Interrupt March Madness Final

Mysterious Balloons Interrupt March Madness Final

Vince Kim April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. “Mommy, a balloon!” shouted someone’s child in the crowd. Yes, it was a balloon, but the game hadn’t ended. And...

Elon Musk Exposed for Using Space Aliens in Factory

Elon Musk Exposed for Using Space Aliens in Factory

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Elon Musk, the infamous entrepreneur has recently had legal troubles, from his deal with Twitter near the end of 2022...

Ohio Train Crash Causes Superpowers

Ohio Train Crash Causes Superpowers

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Several months after the derailment of a Norfolk Southern train in East Palestine Ohio, which resulted in the spillage...

In Response to a Recent Study, Scientists Announce That Everything You Love Is Bad for You (ChatGPT)

In Response to a Recent Study, Scientists Announce That Everything You Love Is Bad for You (ChatGPT)

Jonathan Buscher and ChatGPT April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Another Note: This article was written by ChatGPT prompted to “Write a Satire Article” A recent study published...

ChatGPT: The Language Model Thats Taking Over the World, One Conversation at a Time

ChatGPT: The Language Model That’s Taking Over the World, One Conversation at a Time

Jonathan Buscher and ChatGPT April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Another Note: This article was created using ChatGPT prompted to “Write a Satire Article About ChatGPT” In a world...

War in Ukraine Suddenly Stops

War in Ukraine Suddenly Stops

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Slightly past the two-year point in the war between Russia and Ukraine, which began on February 24, 2022, the war aggressively...

Paul O’Grady: British TV Personality Dies at 67

Paul O’Grady: British TV Personality Dies at 67

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ALTHOUGH IT IS TRUE. On Tuesday, March 28, 2023, Paul O’Grady, a famed comedian and television presenter passed away...

COVID Makes Huge Resurgence with Second Virus

COVID Makes Huge Resurgence with Second Virus

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Just as life appears to be returning to normal, at least to some extent, from COVID-19, the virus that was a focal point...

Mark Twain’s Historic Home Vandalized

Mark Twain’s Historic Home Vandalized

Jonathan Buscher April 4, 2023

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ALTHOUGH IT IS TRUE. Mark Twain, the famous 19th-century writer, whose given name was Samuel Clemens built a home in...

School Shooting at Nashvilles Covenant School

School Shooting at Nashville’s Covenant School

Ben Arnoldussen April 1, 2023

Audrey Hale, the 28-year-old transgender shooter who attacked The Covenant School last week, was armed with two assault-style weapons, a rifle, and a pistol, as well as a handgun, and fatally shot three...

College Board and DeSantis

College Board and DeSantis

Vince Kim March 13, 2023

When the College Board announced its new Advanced Placement course in African American studies, it attempted to cover one of the more complex histories of the United States: the story of black Americans....

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