October Horoscopes


Elliott Weix

Aries. Be engaged in your community. Appreciate your friends and celebrate family.

Taurus. Take up a new cause. No, that’s too many causes. Put some causes back.

Gemini. Get someone to match costumes with you. Don’t go trick-or-treating, you’re too old for it.

Cancer. Enjoy the small things; stop to smell the roses. Avoid apple crisp tomorrow.

Leo. Time for a new direction. Stop looking at your reflection in car windows and remember to take your left turn.

Virgo. Wake up on the opposite side of the bed tomorrow. Take a new perspective and broaden your horizons. Have an existential crisis.

Libra. Disregard previous horoscope.

Scorpio. Do not lose the forest for the trees. Keep a flashlight with you in the woods.

Sagitarrius. Today is a good day for creativity. Find people who can handle scary stories.

Capricorn. Re-evaluate preconceived definitions. A paradigm shift may prove beneficial. Enjoy chips and salsa.

Aquarius. Drink a Dr. Pepper today, support big corporations. Appreciate the wonders of late-stage capitalism.

Pisces. Defy expectations and let your inner self shine. Be flamboyant. Go all in on that costume.